There All Along
by Katie1995
Summary: AU! What if Lily survived the night came to Godric's Hollow to kill Harry? See how see struggles to let go of those she loves the most and watch how in secret she must watch her boy grow up, always in fear of the Dark Lord's return.
1. Double Miracle

**A/N – (I don't own Harry Potter or the characters in any way. All credit goes to J. K. Rowling.)**

**Double Miracle**

**Narrator's P.O.V. (Third Person)**

Hagrid made his way through the rubble that surrounded the top floor hallway. He had just passed the figure of James Potter which was frozen. His eyes were open and unseeing, his glasses still rested upon his nose, and his hair dishevelled from the chaos that cost him his life. Silently, and slowly, Hagrid closed his eyes, bowing his head for a moment in respect of the fallen.

He did not expect, however, to stumble onto anything living, for surely he-who-must-not-be-named had killed everyone here. But he was wrong, entirely wrong, for as he stepped over the boundary into a child's nursery, two figures remained, very much alive.

A woman with luscious auburn hair sat quivering in the far right corner of the room. Stifled sobs made their way from her mouth even though her hand was placed over it. She was surrounded by rubble and debris, her face covered in dust, along with her clothes. Her scared, green eyes were brimmed with tears and she clutched a small blanket in her free hand.

"Lily?" Hagrid's voice seemed deafening in the sickening quiet that blanketed them.

The woman, who we now knew the name of, sat there staring into nothingness. All she could do was nod at the huge man standing in the doorway.

He seemed to tiptoe over as Lily tried to stand. She fell as soon as she was erect, for the grief was too much to bear on her young shoulders.

The boy in the cot cried out, "Mama!"

Lily's head shot up, and for a split second a renewed fire raged in her emerald eyes, even though they were still glassy. She forced herself up to the baby's cot, scooping him into his arms, and eventually breathing him in. She placed feathery kisses everywhere she could as the boy clutched onto her shirt, his tiny fists never wanting to let go.

"Harry," she breathed. "Oh, Harry." Harry's head was rested on his mother's bosom as she bounced him in her arms, tears still falling.

"Lily, come on," Hagrid whispered. "It's not good for yer 'ere." Lily shook her head, increasing her hold on the small child, yet her eyes, her innocent eyes, looked panicked.

"I...c-can't," she sobbed. "I c-can't leave J-James." The half-breed dropped his head, looking at the floor, tears shining in his own eyes.

"I know yer can't," he replied as softly as he could. "But yer need ter be safe."

Hagrid extended his huge hand to Lily's quivering frame, which she shakily accepted.

Balancing her baby in one arm, Hagrid led her down the stairs, where thankfully, James had been removed. They both knew that seeing James would cause Lily's complete breakdown, and right now, she just couldn't handle that. No-one could.

Everything happened in a blur after that. Lily couldn't register what was going on. She was a shell in a destroyed world, and the only thing keeping her going was her baby boy. Harry Potter.

He too, was affected by tonight's events. Physically, it was clear, but mentally, Lily was still unsure. His forehead held a red scar in the shape of a lightning bolt. It was sore and blistered, but the boy, however affected did not show any fright. His small face held a smile in spite of all he had faced. His big green eyes sparkled with an unsure light, and his hands clutched onto his mother's top.

"Lily, we're here," Hagrid whispered softly.

Lily opened her eyes – unaware that she had closed them – to face a strangely familiar street. Privet Drive. Two figures stood next to the bike, heads bowed. She didn't need to look twice. Professor McGonagall stood sombrely next to Professor Dumbledore. The usual spark in his blue eyes gone, his brow crinkled in sympathy for Lily and Harry's loss.

"Lily," Minerva sighed, pulling her into a hug.

Lily's arms wrapped tightly around McGonagall's body in a one armed hug; Her own body finally giving into the grief that weighed upon her.

"He's...g-gone, Min...Minerva!" She sobbed, her chest heaving. "J-James is g-gone!" Her past teacher had her own tears falling as she rubbed Lily's back.

"I know, Lily, I know."

Their secret keeper had betrayed them. Sirius had _betrayed _them!

"Lily," Dumbledore said gravely. "How?" He hated to place this on her now, but he had to figure out if his theory was correct or not.

"I...I don't k-know," Lily sniffled in reply. "He, he came to our h-house and..." Another batch of sobs claimed her and she had to sit back in the passenger seat of the bike so that she wouldn't fall. Minerva squeezed her shoulder in support as Lily breathed in and out slowly and deeply to regain her composure.

"James," her voice was uneven, but she carried on. "Was downstairs; he wasn't ready and Voldemort..." McGonagall flinched along with Hagrid. "...Just burst in, he told me to r-run," her voice cracked and she had to clear her throat before finishing. "And then, through the door, with Harry in my arms, all I could see was a bright flash of green light and a scream and...and..." Lily buried her face in her hands before she could let the sobs claim her again.

"He came for you," Dumbledore finished off.

Lily nodded, her red hair falling over half her face from behind her ear.

"What was the last thing he said, Lily?"

Minerva, Hagrid and Lily looked horrified at the Hogwarts' Headmaster's request.

"I need to know," he pleaded.

"You know!" Lily shrieked. "You have to know!"

"Avada Kedavra," Albus whispered solemnly.

Again, Lily nodded. "Yes," she squeaked.

"But you survived," he replied almost too quickly.

"But...how?" Lily responded in a barely audible tone.

Dumbledore placed a gentle hand on her other shoulder, mirroring McGonagall.

"That, my dear, is something we still have to discuss. But for now, we have more pressing matters to attend to." He gestured to the now sleeping Harry in Lily's arms and her hold increased.

"No!" She cried.

"Lily, listen to me." Albus alternated his looks between Lily and her son. "Voldemort-

"Is gone!" She was nearly screaming. Her heart pounded hard and fast against her rib cage as she scanned Dumbledore's face for some answers.

"Yes, Lily, he is, but he will return, and when he does, your boy will be in terrible danger." Lily's eyes welled with tears as she kissed her son's hair. "We need to protect him, if it is made obvious you are still alive, Lily, it could cause great problems. By doing this, we are offering him the protection he needs."

The woman looked frantically between the three figures. Did no disagree?

"Minerva?"

The transfiguration teacher looked ashamed at which side she was taking, but didn't deny it. "It's for the best, Lily."

"No, it not!" Lily retorted in a harsh, low tone. "Petunia? _Petunia? _Dumbledore, please, Hagrid...you know he needs a mother's love! I'm the only one left...the only one left who cares, that is."

McGonagall wiped away a tear, but kept her eyes on Lily. "I'm not saying you are unfit as a mother, Lily, but Dumbledore is right. He needs protection-

"Which I am able to give-

"Yes, but with risk of detection from dark forces. Please, Lily."

The red head's chest fell and her son wriggled in her arms.

"I can't let him die," she sobbed tearlessly. "But I can't watch him grow up alone either!"

"We know, darling," Minerva replied gently. "But you want to do what's best. I can see it in your eyes."

Another useless tear fell.

"You promise me, now. Promise me he'll be loved; promise me he'll remember me!"

"I can't make promises like that Lily. The only promise I can make is that he'll be _safe!"_

Lily's resolve was weakening. It wasn't until her baby uttered "Dada," that she knew the answer.

"Take him." She passed the small child into Minerva's arms, hugging herself as she let go. She had never felt so _bare _before. "Before I change my mind," Lily warned.

Hagrid led her away, hurriedly after one final kiss and a "I love you," to keep the pain at bay.

All Lily knew now, was that tonight had caused her to lose everyone close to her. She was alone, her baby was alone and James was dead.

Life would never be as she knew it _ever _again.

**A/N – The first chapter of my AU Harry Potter story...**

**This chapter was harder than expected to right, but if you enjoyed it, Please Review! **

**Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	2. Mirror of Erised

**A/N – (I don't own Harry Potter or the characters in any way. All****credit****goes to J. K. Rowling.)**

**Mirror of Erised.**

**Narrator's P.O.V. (Third Person)**

"Lily, dear, come on, the first years are almost here." McGonagall grabbed Lily gently by the elbow, leading her away from the cabinet that held pictures of Hogwarts' past Quidditch teams. Lily's gaze was ripped from that of her Husband's.

"Minerva, please, just...give me a few more minutes." The transfiguration teacher sighed sadly, but relented. Meet me in the staffroom when you're ready.

Red hair fell over the younger woman's face as she nodded.

"I will," she promised.

Minerva squeezed her shoulder before walking off, the clicks of her heels fading away with each step.

Tenderly, Lily placed her hand on the glass that separated her from her husband, well, the photo of her husband at least. "James," she whispered, tears falling silently down her cheeks. "Oh, James." She wiped the tears away with the back of her other hand, breathing in to gain composure.

"Harry should be starting this year," she whispered to nobody but herself. "That is if Petunia doesn't lock him away," she laughed. "And I bet James," the auburn headed girl continued, "That he looks exactly like you now, except with my eyes. I bet you, that no matter what he tries to do, his hair can't be controlled. I hate to imagine what Petunia's done to the inherited haystack; I would think she's probably sheared it off by now." Her hand fell limply back down to her side.

"I miss you, both of you," she finished solemnly.

With a deep sigh, she turned her back on her husband and made her way to the end of the corridor. McGonagall was stood around the corner, but of course, Lily knew McGonagall would never really leave.

"I thought you said..."

"I know," Minerva replied. "But you're like a daughter to me now, Lily. I can't just leave you."

The young woman smiled. "I can survive."

"I know you can, darling. But still, I can't help but be concerned." Lily laughed, but it was forced. "Tell me what's wrong, Lily," Minerva urged.

Lily traced her eyes in the stone floor; she didn't want to look weak in the eyes of a teacher and now, fellow colleague.

"It's just...this year, Harry should be starting," she whispered, still tracing the cracks in the floor. "And, it just brings back memories, that's all."

McGonagall shifted next to her, debating whether to wrap an arm around Lily's shoulders.

"I doubt Petunia would have even given him his letter," she continued, unfeeling. "After all, he's the freak of the family."

Minerva gasped, shaking her head, and frowning disapprovingly "Don't say that, Lily," she reprimanded.

"Why not, Minerva?" Lily questioned, angrily. "Petunia made it quite clear to me, who's to say she hasn't done the same to _my _son? I expect it's drummed into him every second of the day."

"Lily," Minerva started again. "Trust me; Harry would've received his letter. We – Dumbledore and I – made very sure of that."

"And if she refuses to let him go? What use would've receiving that letter be?" The older lay sighed exasperated.

Lily had been quite conscious for the few past weeks, and it was exactly this problem that made her so testy. She was known for her temper when she was a student, which she openly displayed on none other than James Potter himself. It amused Minerva sometimes, to think how they even ended up together.

"Hagrid's helping us," she commented. "And believe me; he won't give up without a fight."

Lily's lips curved into a smile and she brushed her hair behind her ear.

"The first years will be here in an hour, Lily," McGonagall murmured, softly. "If you're not there, I'll understand." She went to walk away, but Lily caught her hand before she could leave.

"I just wish James was here to see it." And with that she released her hand and walked in the opposite direction.

She wasn't entirely sure where her feet were leading her. She never went looking for trouble, quite often, trouble usually found her. Like Voldemort for example. She never asked him to kill her husband then try and murder her child, no, it just happened.

Her feet had no desire to stop; instead they kept pushing her on. She knew where she was going. She had found it ages before, even if Dumbledore had tried to hide it.

The Mirror of Erised.

She had come here nearly every day after that dreadful October night, her one aim to see her husband again, to see her baby again. She knew it wasn't a healthy obsession; dwelling on the past did not help you move forwards, yet the smiling face of her husband as he held their child had been a comfort in her darkest days.

The room was blanketed in darkness, yet the mirror reflected what light there was. Slowly and silently, with baited breath, Lily made her way over to where it stood in solitude, and finally, after years of purposely separating herself from the mirror, she saw it. The familiar reflection.

James was stood behind her, just to the left, and Harry, no longer a baby, stood the other side of her. His hair was a complete mess, his eyes were not of his father's, like everything else was, but of hers. They were a brilliant green, sparkling as he smiled at her. If it was the one thing that separated Harry from his father, it would be his eyes, for no-one she knew had quite the same striking emerald eyes as she did.

"Harry?" It was a question she felt stupid in asking. Of course it was Harry.

The boy nodded, but she had to look behind her to make herself believe that what she saw was not actually real, but her hearts long buried desire.

"James?"

The man nodded, like his son. He was crying, but smiling.

Lily placed her pale hand on the glass. She wanted desperately to be able to get into the mirror. Smash it and join her lost family, but that wasn't possible.

"It's not fair," she whimpered in frustration. "Not fair," she repeated again in a whisper. "Why did you have to go?"

James shook his head, but put his hand on her tense shoulder. She placed her hand on what she assumed would be James' hand, yet it rested on nothing else except her own flesh.

Her chest fell deeply as she sighed. The clock rang seven times, and Lily knew from then on her time was very limited. The first years would probably be here in less than half an hour.

"I have to go," Lily continued in a heartbroken whisper. "But I'll come back," she added a little more uplifted. "I promise."

She kissed her fingers, placing them on the glass before turning her back on the most important people in her life.

With great effort, she made her way from the abandoned classroom to where the great hall was now preparing for the arrival of the first years, something Lily was not at all willing to see.

**A/N – Sorry it's so short and taken me a while to update, I'm trying to update other stories as well, so I'm alternating between them.**

**Anyways, it is a slightly sad chapter, but I think Lily would be slightly apprehensive to whether Harry would make it to Hogwarts or not with a guardian like Petunia/Vernon.**

**I hope you liked it! If you did, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


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